The Sports Shots Pod: Pilot – Fantasy Football Reactions, Week Zero Rants, & What’s in the Cup

Sports Shots Pod – Pilot Episode

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Host Introductions

Host 1: But a little intro about myself… this voice… I’ll call myself this voice. Don’t worry about… by myself. Texas born, Texas raised, never left Texas, never planned to. Started watching sports when I started getting conscious of what life is by the age of four when I started understanding. Favorite sport is football, then it probably goes baseball, and then I think I put basketball at third. Hockey is at the bottom of the list for me. I’ll watch hockey only when it’s playoff time, but sadly that’s… that’s really it. Love college… love college sports. Went to a Division 2 college, graduated, working full-time in that… that degree that I got. But that’s all… that’s all I want to say about me. A little bit of background. What… what about yourself?

Host 2: Well, I will be as of right now, I guess, host number two from Texas. Well traveled in the United States at least… we’re working on the international, but yeah, we met at the same college.

Host 1: Yeah, yeah we met in… Cal 1. Remember that day, Cal?

Host 2: Yeah, we were… I got a 6 on that first exam and I had to desperately look over at your paper to see what the hell did I do wrong because I swear I could have gotten at least a 90. But whatever. And you’re like, “Let me… let me see what this…” It’s funny how that started. Connected.

Host 1: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Because I needed… I needed someone that was at least on my level. But here we are seven years later. Has it been seven years? Damn, really?

Host 2: Yep, it’s been long because… yeah, that was 2016… 2017, man.

Host 1: Yeah, it’s been that long. Damn. We… we had… we had three more like math classes after that. You… you… you remember… remember the one? I think it was Cal 2. We took Cal 2 in Rodd Hall with…

Host 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah with Dr… Dr. T, rest in peace. Or Dr. Wu, rest in peace.

Host 1: Dr. Wu, yeah. That story is crazy. Rest in peace. Yes, that story is crazy. Short story on that: basically he always said [someone] was after him.

Host 2: Oh my God, we’re going to pause right there because we’re not about to get cancelled on pilot number one. You… okay?

Host 1: Okay, what do we talk about in the show notes? I’ll just beat that up. I just… okay, he was worried that these people were after him, right? And one day he went missing and his son kind of reached out to the college that his father was missing and it led to this whole case where… he was last at this gas station, he took out X amount of money, then they found his car down the road and they found him on the beach where he was pronounced deceased. And that all happened the week… that was… that was crazy.

Host 2: But all right, anyway. But anyways, yeah, we were in that class together with that professor. I bombed… I completely bombed the first test. You told me to stick it out and somehow, some way, ended up out of that class. In the summertime would it be… Cal… Cal 2? That’s pretty remarkable.

Host 1: But yeah, yeah we… just getting through college and getting through life. We went through a journey together and I abandoned you right at the start of the pandemic and I left your ass in Texas.

Host 2: Oh dog, you went all the way to the east coast.

Host 1: Thank God for sports because I think for us guys, and especially for the way me and you grew up, we need… it’s our sanity. We need that. I mean, sports during COVID was huge. I remember just… just watching the NFL Draft. They had that… the commissioner did it from like his house, right? And but just seeing that was like… like a little sense of normality. The only thing that I remember really from that was CeeDee Lamb taking that phone away when his name was called.

Host 2: Yeah, is he… I don’t know if he’s even still with…

Host 1: Oh come on, you know damn well. You know damn well, come on man. And he just got that contract. He probably got another one.

Host 2: Yeah. Because of our… of our love of sports and always talk about it in multiple sports and always giving our takes, our opinions, wanting to hear what we think about this topic and stuff, that’s… you know, we decided why not just put it… you know, put it on tape?

Host 1: No, okay. So but let’s be honest though, because I think this is one thing that we haven’t actually discussed in the show prep… do we care for under-18-year-olds to listen? Because I’m too much of an adult and I struggle to censor myself.

Host 2: I don’t care, dog. I was watching Robot Chicken at the age of nine.

Host 1: No wonder you’re damaged.

Host 2: Yeah, I know. You know, I was watching shows I wasn’t supposed to at a young age, you know. And if you know, it’s… it’s their choice, whatever they want to listen to, right? It’s a podcast. We’re not… we’re not a video yet. Yet, we’re only audio-based wherever you’re… you’re listening from. But your favorite listening spot… well, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t say our target base is for… this is kid-friendly. Let’s… let’s… let’s say that. Let’s be honest, we’re… we’re not.

Host 1: I mean, I already said it’s… I already said it’s… I have a hard time censoring myself. That was me being honest.

Host 2: Yeah, yeah. And one of the reasons why we’re not kid-friendly is because we’re going to be drinking during this podcast and every podcast. Speaking of that, what you got in your cup right now?

What’s In The Cup

Host 1: Yeah, so I decided to chill… chill my cup in the freezer for about an hour. Got those big old square ice cubes and I decided just to keep it simple. I’m drinking a Jack and Coke.

Host 2: Jack and Coke. All right, Jack and Coke. See, I’m maybe… I’m a little bit more… how should I say… Jack is a little bit too low on the bottom shelf for me. I go for a Woodford and Coke right now. That’s… that’s what’s in my cup.

Host 1: Yeah, yeah. So you… you just… you just want some… want some more hair on your chest. This is what you’re saying, man. It is about to get cold up here. Got to stay warm. You just want something that’s to… gave you a… a little tingle. Take a sip.

Host 2: Oh man, just a little bit on the inside, you know. Just whatever works, whatever goes straight to the…

Host 1: Exactly. And you know what? That’s… and that’s… that’s the thing. You know, every single episode after this, that’s probably going to be our first segment: what we’re drinking. What’s in the cup? That’s… that’s what… that’s what the segment should be. What… what’s in the cup? In the cup. Look at that. See, that’s why I said don’t take notes, don’t do any scripts. Just let everything just come out because… because yeah, everything flows.

Host 2: Okay, pause. Nah, resume.

Host 1: Oh my god. Oh no. Oh sht. Well, we’re over here… we’re over here bullshtting about all this, man. We didn’t even really give another preview of the main idea of what we want to bring you.

College Football Week Zero

Host 2: And we just had week one of college football. The first full… I don’t really care for that. How do you feel about week zero? How do you feel about that?

Host 1: We… there’s a reason why it’s called zero because there’s zero viewers. There’s no… there’s no point. I think the only ranked team that played was Florida State.

Host 2: Oh, do we want to go there? They lost to Georgia Tech.

Host 1: No, I’mma go there. I’mma go there. This is the same… this… this is the same crew that literally was going to freaking Congress complaining about the CFP. Like, did they not… they was… they was really going… really far just because they felt left out.

Host 2: That’s… let’s… let’s be honest, week one is almost like week zero. It is, you know. Week one, it just… just counts. Like Old Miss playing Furman 76 to zero. That sounds like the Stephen F. Austin game.

Host 1: No, Old Miss versus Furman was… was 76 to zero.

Host 2: That was 76 to zero. Yep.

Host 1: Wow. Okay, so I didn’t see the score on that. Again, my point exactly. And I… that’s… that’s the one thing I do hate about college. Like, I get it, these small schools get a check, but like every year Alabama and Auburn plays these cupcake-ass schools right before they play each other in the… in the Iron Bowl. It’s always Alabama versus The Citadel or Tennessee Martin or some… literally some scrub school. And if I was a player on that team, I would be completely disrespected knowing the schedule of that they played up to that point and who’s coming after us and you going to schedule us in between. Like, I’m not just coming there to collect a check. I’m coming… I hope I injure your quarterback. I’m just… I’m going to be straight up. I’m going for the knees. Like, fck it, if I get tossed out, I’m here to make… you know, try to get my name out there on something… something, man… something. Not 76 to zero. If the NFL don’t take me, WWE will. Fck it.

Host 2: But yeah, I think in the Old Miss game there was one guy that had like three carries, two touchdowns, 70 yards. Just playing NCAA in real life.

Host 1: Yeah, yeah, on… on varsity.

Host 2: Yes, yeah, yeah. They’re playing… NCAA… the way on varsity and just… that’s what I feel like doing the UNLV non-stop. Anyway, but speaking of Stephen F. Austin, they were up 70 to zero at half.

Host 1: Yeah, at halftime. You are… you are a head coach. Yes, I am. What do you tell your team at halftime when it’s 70 to nothing?

Host 2: Transfer portal.

Host 1: Do you… but do… do you know what they did in the second half? You know what they did?

Host 2: But 5-minute quarters.

Host 1: Yeah, yeah, that wasn’t just… 5-minute quarters in high school. It’s 5-minute running clock.

Host 2: Oh, do that’s literally NCAA ’14 time.

Host 1: Yeah. But yeah, how many… how many fantasy leagues are you in?

Host 2: Just… just the one that I’m running.

Host 1: Just the one that I’m running, and our draft will be tomorrow. I’m in three this year. Like every year, I mean, I’m always in at least three. Last year I was in two. This year I’m just… just doing… just… just one. So I got my family league, my work league, and our league, which neither of us has won yet because if it wasn’t for [your] sister… she turned into a mad scientist.

Host 2: And me.

Host 1: Yeah, let… yeah, your… your sister has too much time to be looking at all these stats. She made the most moves last year. I think it was either her or your dad.

Host 2: Yeah, well, they didn’t help my dad much, but don’t forget those sweeps I let in for my last…

Host 1: I know. Well, see, with your dad, your dad’s a die-hard New York fan. Like, I remember when we first started this, man drafted Daniel Jones like in the second round. And from that on, I was like, “I think I got this. I think I’ll dominate,” which I do every year. Most points, but I just can’t… can’t…

Host 2: Yeah, that’s crazy how that works. You… you lead in most points, but you also… points against is usually… is usually the other players’ highest score.

Host 1: I am, and that’s just… that just… it being… that’s just unfortunate, you know. That’s just… yeah, it’s fantasy football, you know. I could put up points, but if my opponent… their team just has a good… good week that week, they… he… they give them that… that prep talk that they needed to show up and show out, and that’s what they did. And you know, that’s just how it is.

Fantasy Football Discussion

Host 2: Anyway, moving on to more… more fantasy talk. I want to get more fantasy because I already did two of my drafts already and I got my third and I’m going receiver number one. So I’m not telling… I’ve drafted… I’ve drafted Tyreek Hill in both of my leagues in the first round and I’m looking to go three for three. I’mma go heavy receiver, and I think I’ve always gone heavy… heavy receiver.

Host 1: Yeah, see, that’s the problem. I think everyone is. I mean, there’s so many good… good… good receivers, you know. And in reality, like, in… in running backs, it’s Christian McCaffrey and then there’s a drop. Got the ESPN… they got the rankings. So obviously CeeDee Lamb is number one for everybody, but I mean, you got CeeDee Lamb… I’ll just go through the top 10. You got CeeDee Lamb, Tyreek, Amon-Ra, Ja’Marr, Justin Jefferson, A.J. Brown, Puka, Garrett Wilson, Chris Olave, and Devonta Smith.

Host 2: The one that… see that… it’s a fraud is Chris Olave.

Host 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, because his quarterback is Derek Carr.

Host 2: Exactly, exactly. You know, that one is just… when you put him up there, I… I get it. Devonta is old. I think he’s 30 now.

Host 1: Yeah, you would think he’d be passed, but here’s… here’s… here’s something surprising to me: they got Aiyuk at number 21.

Host 2: For $120 million guy, that’s…

Host 1: Yeah, yeah. I mean, all right, here’s who’s above him. He’s at 21, so I might as well just go ahead and read off 11 through 20. You got… yeah, they got a rookie who’s never played a snap in the league yet. Can you name him?

Host 2: Marvin Harrison Jr.

Host 1: Number… had… number 11. Number 12: another junior, Michael Pittman, which he’s disappointed in the past couple years. Mike Evans from a fantasy perspective… Mike… Mike Evans is… low-key one of the greatest receivers that we’ve ever seen in this generation. Big body, big hands, speed, agility, durability, played with sh*t quarterbacks, kind of like… Andre Johnson did. So basically like…

Host 2: Go ahead.

Host 1: Yeah. 13 was Mike Evans. 14: Drake London. Trash. 15: Nico, underrated. 16: DK. 17: Devonta. 18: Deebo, underrated. 19: Jaylen Waddle. And then 20 is Stefon Diggs. And then after that, they got the $120 million man.

Host 2: I like this. This is ESPN, by the way.

Top 5 Running Backs Discussion

Host 1: My top five in my football-watching career… as I am going to be 31 in a couple weeks, I would say… okay, I’m going to… every one you pick, I’ma rate out of 10. All right?

Host 2: AP is on that list. Now this isn’t in no particular order. I’m just going to… one.

Host 1: Sure. So AP.

Host 2: Uh-huh. 10.

Host 1: Adrian Peterson. 6.

Host 2: Now is that straight up off football, or are you just hating on Houston now?

Host 1: It’s a… 5 if you keep talking.

Host 2: No, it’s a… it’s… it’s out of football. He… he had a good… good couple years, but I mean, that’s… that… that’s really all I can say, you know. That’s all you can ask for out of a running back.

Host 1: Yeah, yeah, because that… once they hit that 28, you know, your season… 29-year-old season, it’s pretty much downhill. But not… not for AP. But anyway, sorry. 6.

Host 2: Derrick Henry.

Host 1: 8 and a half.

Host 2: Really?

Host 1: Yeah.

Host 2: Why just… because I mean, he’s doing everything AP did but bigger.

Host 1: Okay, you know… I mean, I’ll… do like a 7-9.

Host 2: Okay, all right. Well, let’s see. Let’s ask safeties if they agree with you… let’s ask free safeties, you know.

Host 1: No, they… yeah, they’ll say 79 because that’s… that’s how… how much feet they stay away from him when they… when he breaks into the second level.

Host 2: Yeah, because no one tries to tackle him anymore.

Host 1: No, dog. You think he’s fast enough to go 99 yards?

Host 2: No, no one wanted to tackle him against Jacksonville. I think… I think he’s played… I think he needs… I think he’s stiff-armed like Miles Garrett… Miles Garrett, one of the linebackers or one of the linebackers, and then he just took off.

Host 1: Yeah, stiff-armed them into retirement. You’re… you’re… you’re telling me only one linebacker could catch him?

Host 2: Yep, you know what I’m saying.

Host 1: Nah, yeah. Anyway, who’s… who’s your number four?

Host 2: Number four, I would probably want to put Shaun Alexander on that list.

Host 1: Okay, okay. I’m going to get that an 8 and a half. I probably want to put him on that list because he… he had a special… he… he had a good run with Seattle. And last but not least, I got to go with our boy from Texas, TCU proud, and I think you know who I’m going with on that. Hall of Famer, just pure class at the running back… at the running back position. You know, before you say this, I actually went to a football camp I got invited to at TCU and I got to meet him and shake his hand. And I went to go take a picture with him and my dad jumped in the picture on the other side… had to… thought bomb.

Host 1: Yeah, so you got… I, dog, I have that picture of y’all right in front of me right now on my desk. He just played the position so beautifully. Like, it… it’s the long… the longevity of his career and just… and the way he ran.

Host 2: Yeah, yeah. Like, it’s… pass pro, too.

Host 1: Yes, and dual threat.

Host 2: Yep. Like, shame they could… they had that… they had that ’06… was he on that team that went 14-2 and lost and went one and done? It was against the Patriots in that playoff…

Host 1: Yes.

Host 2: Yeah, that was when he won MVP, I think, that same season. It’s when he put up like 27 touchdowns or something… something ridiculous for a running back in that… in that time. Anyway, yeah, we’ve… we’ve been talking about the man without naming the man for about 2 minutes. Go ahead and name him.

Host 1: Oh, sh*t. If the listeners haven’t guessed… if… oh, I mean, come on, we will hope that our listeners would have to have guessed by now. I mean, we just… go ahead and say whatever. We already know it’s LaDainian Tomlinson.

Host 2: So like, yeah, I had to give him… I had to give him his respect. Like, just like the Europeans give the respect to the king. Like, that man… that man was different. LT, man. He was LT after LT. He was the LT after LT. You know what I’m saying? He was… LT. F*ck it. Like that.

Host 1: Your top five, I’m going to give it an 86. It’s not bad. It’s pretty… give me yours, but I think mine’s going to blow yours out of the water.

Host 2: All right. And I’m going to get the two out of the way that mimic yours, right? Adrian Peterson. Mm-hmm. And LaDainian Tomlinson. Those two I 100% agree with you on. Top five number three, though, I’m going to go newer, fresh, and put CMC in there. The white version of LT.

Host 1: LaDainian Tomlinson. Got to give him his props. I have to, man. I mean, I see him playing at Stanford. Like, he was good. I knew he was going to be special.

Host 2: Oh man, I… you know, it was just in him. You saw it.

Host 1: Yeah, it’s in his blood. Literally, his… his… his father, brother, their entire family, dude. Even the women in the family are athletes. And then guess… guess… guess how old he is? He’s got to be 30 right now. He’s been in the league…

Host 2: He’s 28.

Host 1: Jesus Christ. His body is already up because he’s been injured for a minute.

Host 2: He has been, but he… I… I feel… I feel like he’s been playing for so long.

Host 1: He’s 28, yeah. But this is the dude that gets those thousand-thousand seasons. You know what I’m talking about?

Host 2: Yeah, thousand rushing yards, thousand receiving yards. Same dude that broke the market for running backs in contracts. But yeah, if he could get 100 receptions in a year or two…

Host 1: Yeah, and he’s done it twice. That… the man is just like… he’s the reason why he’s number one pick in fantasy every year. Can you believe I actually complained when I somehow auto-drafted number one for him last year because something happened with my app? And this is… I’m on the record. I actually was btching about it because I said, “Why the hell do I want this damaged goods as number one?” I ended up trading him and I end up helping one of the… I fcked up all last year and it’s because I thought the trade was going to work like…

Host 2: Oh man, we… I feel… I feel like I’m about to get crucified once this gets out that…

Host 1: Oh, you will. You will. You traded number one running back for the past four years. What’s wrong with you?

Host 2: Going on to my number four: a lot of people don’t know or lot of people should know this man, but a lot of these… these younger listeners aren’t going to know him. Steven Jackson.

Host 1: I can’t believe I didn’t name him, but he was so… used to talk… he’s so used to… I forgot because the Rams sucked all those years. You want to talk about a unit. This man was like… to put it into perspective for if people somehow don’t know him, he was Derrick Henry.

Host 2: Yeah, he was… he was like a shorter Derek… not really that short, but like…

Host 1: No, he’s… he was… he’s… he’s 6’2, dude. He… that man was a train. Him and Derrick Henry are like literally the same size. I think Derrick Henry might be a little bit faster.

Host 2: Yeah. And I have an honorable mention once you… once you give me your last pick. But Steven Jackson… good… respect for that. When I used to use him wherever… the man was with Vince Young… ’06, the cover… ’06, dog. I would just use him because of his trucking every single time. Every single time I would draft him. I used to love doing… franchise mode and do like the… the redraft. I would draft him every single time.

Host 1: Number five: CJ2K, Chris Johnson. As the commentators used to say, “Run away from the cops” speed. And now they have to stop saying that because they didn’t want… want to get… get cancelled.

Host 2: Yeah, no one wants to get cancelled. Talk about “get away from the cops” speed, dog. If he saw open grass, he was in the end zone.

Host 1: Yeah, that man… I remember that he held… he… he held a 40 record forever.

Host 2: It’s not a bad list. Not a bad list. And I got an honorable mention.

Host 1: Go ahead and name your honorable mention, then we’ll go ahead and end it on this.

Host 2: Yeah, this’ll be a perfect way to end it. And shout out to… to the old Bucs in their first Super Bowl, but Alstott was just a freaking menace. I still look at the highlight videos of him just running through everybody and just seeing his jersey just being ripped off because dudes literally just cannot grab a hold of this guy because, first of all, he’s trucking right through you. You’re not stopping him. Why would you even get in front of him? And then he had speed.

Host 1: Yeah, even though he was listed as a fullback, he could… he could move.

Host 2: No, yeah, he’s… it’s a shame that he’s not in the Hall of Fame yet. It’s really a shame.

Host 1: Nah, but he was… watch, that one’s good. That one’s good.

Closing

Host 2: But this is our… our… our episode zero or week zero, right? That’s what… that’s what this episode is. But in the future, you can expect us to recap NFL weeks as NFL goes on. This carries on to NBA. We’ll recap NBA. We’ll recap MLB, maybe even dabble in hockey. And then we’re going to sprinkle in some… some sports quizzes to test our knowledge and our analytics and see how well we are.

Host 1: Add more. Yeah, I’ll probably win most of those quizzes, but yeah…

Host 2: I think you’ll win the majority of the general quizzes. I think you have more general knowledge than me, especially in hockey.

Host 1: Oh, thank you for calling me smarter.

Host 2: I… I think I called you more general. I think that’s what I got.

Host 1: No, that’s… you’re insinuating the fact that I have more knowledge, which equal… which equates to being smarter. So yes, thank you.

Host 2: Yes. So we’re going to go ahead and we’re just going to… just look forward to the next episode. So I feel like this was a good one. I feel like we can go ahead and… and keep this moving. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for this football season, man. I’m ready to get going.

Host 1: Oh man, we’re all ready. I just want to say thank… thank you guys for listening and I hope you listen to the next one. We’ll see you later.

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